Posts Tagged ‘asking’

The Healing Power of Holiday Gratitude Moments

Monday, November 19th, 2012

It is not unusual for me to post on Facebook when something provokes my sense of gratitude. It is a way I pause in appreciation and also remind my friends that even the smallest things count when it comes to being grateful. Imagine my surprise when a comment came in response to one of my posts this weekend accusing me of being self-centered and ignoring the needs of the poor and homeless. OUCH! That was not the kind of response I had expected, yet it happened.

It made me wonder what that might have triggered that individual’s response. Was it more about what was going on in the life of the commenter or was it about me? Should I be less grateful publicly in the future?

After coming off of a week dedicated to hosting a very successful fundraiser for the Cleveland Pregnancy Center, leading groups, speaking and volunteering my time to two different non-profits, I know I am not a self-centered person and as much as that comment hurt my feelings, I can’t allow myself to own that comment. What I can do is continue to reach out through life and business to help others find more bright moments within their lives.

It is quite possible that some of you reading this might encounter “energy vampires” during the days ahead in spite of the festive Thanksgiving theme. What can each of us do to avoid an energy drain or worse – becoming one of those energy suckers ourselves?

Support others as you are able. When you begin to feel depleted, stop! True giving energizes the giver. Take time to take good care of yourself. Pay attention to how you feel as you give of your time, resources and attention.

Be aware that people may be sensitive to your good fortune. Temper your comments with sensitivity to the audience. Be aware that things you say and do may be twisted by their perspective and taken as you did not intend. Apologize for triggering the response, but allow yourself to hold on to the original gratitude moment.

Speak up and ask for the help you need. Holidays are a time when everyone’s to-do lists and stresses get bigger. Speak up sooner rather than later. Whether it is with cleaning, shopping, or doing dishes after that big family gathering, don’t assume everyone can read your mind. ASK!

Receive and acknowledge help from others graciously. Help may not always come in the form you had imagined. Take it anyway and say “thank you”. A hand written note is also a nice way to create a permanent expression of your gratitude.

Start a gratitude journal. Every day as part of my daily writing habit, I take a moment to jot down at least five things I am grateful for. Coaching clients and participants in my creativity groups are also urged to take on this habit. There is evidence that those who take time for daily gratitude are thriving.

According to research summarized by Robert Emmons in his book Thanks! gratitude journal keepers reported:

• Feeling better about their lives overall
• More optimistic about the future
• Fewer health problems than the other participants.
• Improved sleep
• Protective effect against heart attacks

All of the above contribute to optimal health, which is something we all want.

As the frosty mornings and the emerging holiday sales call for our attention, Thanksgiving Day provides a chance to pause and celebrate the good that has come to our lives. Be sensitive to the needs of the world that are yet unmet, and do your part to heal yourself as you give and serve. The world is a better place when we pause to appreciate. Make it a habit!

If you need more help with staying strong this holiday season, I hope you’ll check out my book, Energy Makeover – A Conscious Way to Stay Young, Have Fun and Get More Done! and the Energy Makeover Daily Journal at www.energymakeover4u.com and available on www. Amazon.com. You are also invited to join me for a live event at 7PM on Nov. 28 Practical Energy Self-Care Tips and Holiday Survival Tune-Up. Details at http://eftholidaytips.eventbrite.com/

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Truly Honoring and Celebrating Relationships with Connection and Balance

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

Valentine’s Day comes each year as a reminder to honor the love in our lives. While it can be about candy, flowers and cards for some people, it is a day that helps the world pay attention to relationships. That’s a good reason to be a fan of February 14.

If you are celebrating love, consider extending that celebration to everyone who has offered kindness, friendship, business, referrals, compassion or company to your life. Certainly your spouse or partner deserves a big portion of your attention and consideration on this day. Your children, parents, co-workers, friends, employees and relatives might also like to know you truly care about them too.

Ask yourself how you performed as a loving and caring person during the past year. Is there a relationship you have allowed to go dormant? Is there a friend you haven’t seen in awhile or a relationship that needs reconnection? Is there something you could say, appreciate or ask for that might add a spark to an existing relationship? There is always room to up your game when it comes to being a loving person.

Recently I was feeling a bit unappreciated in my marriage. My husband works long hours and has been nearly killing himself over work during the past months. Because I love him, I really care about his well-being, especially his lack of life balance, and try to make things at home as easy as possible for him. I go out of my way to initiate conversation, take care most of our household details, and give him space to relax when he finally isn’t working. I was also realizing that our relationship was in need of re-balancing. I was feeling hurt that I was killing myself with chores, my book launch, speaking schedule and handling a pet health crisis without ever hearing him ask me what I was struggling with or what I was working on. That felt really bad. I finally let it all out one night over dinner. He probably felt attacked, but he owned what I was saying. By asking him for more, he was more than happy to respond.

Imagine my surprise and delight when my husband started asking me about what I was working on and showed up at one of my local evening speaking events. I felt especially loved and supported by those gestures. Things between us have been much more evenly balanced and happy these days.

I hope you will take my story to heart and allow it to inspire you to ask for what you need in a relationship, especially if you are feeling like you are mostly the giver. It takes both giving and receiving, initiating and following, to make love connect and flow. Perhaps there is a relationship that needs attention in your world. Consider a Valentine call, greeting or conversation as a way to reconnect. Have a little fun with this. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Insulating Your Energy for the Up-Coming Holidays

Tuesday, November 15th, 2011

Do you know what the top 3 energy drains are?

If you knew, would you make different choices?

As we head into the upcoming holiday season and our dark, winter here in NE Ohio, we think about shielding ourselves from the cold, energy inefficiency and drafts. We insulate our homes, change our filters, order furnace maintenance and begin shopping and housekeeping for the busy season ahead. Are you scheduling self-care into this agenda to make sure that YOU are shielded and energetically insulated for this very busy time of the year? If you care about sustainable human energy, consider the following.

• Limit time with people who drain you. Think about how you can say no or limit your exposure to them.

• Ask for help, even before you need it. Could someone help you clean, shop, cook, rake or entertain guests? It’s more fun when you don’t go it alone.

• Shift your attention to things that are positive. Remember what Thanksgiving is all about. Say “thanks” often. Little things are always going well in your life. Make a point to notice a kind gesture, that your car starts, the heat works, you have warm place to sleep and food in your pantry. You have comfort!

• Offer your talents to the world. Could you help someone who is having a rough time? Is there a way you could bring a smile to someone else and do it with EASE? Speak up and act. You are the gift someone is waiting for!

In my book the top 3 energy drains are:

1. Energy Vampires
2. Trying to Control incontrollable things
3. Isolation/Disconnection

Learn more about what I mean and also 3 ways you can most rapidly recover your energy by listening to this short audio of From Sensitive to Reliably Resilient – an Energy Makeover Overview

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A Steady Melt

Friday, September 24th, 2010

Imagine that scene in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy tosses the water on the witch, and then she just shrivels and melts away. That is what is happening to my alien belly bump, and actually to other parts of me too. After 8 weeks of discipline, increased awareness about eating, challenged my beleifs and attended meetings with others working on healthier habits the progress continues. I am down 7 pounds. I keep learning more tips to keep things going in the right direction. They will help you too

1. Healthy weight loss is 1/2 – 1 pound per week.
That doesn’t seem like much, but it amounts to a sustainable situation that the body enjoys. Once the body knows it is in a safe pattern, the metabolic burn kicks in.

2. Results show up off the scale
As much as we want results in all areas, sometimes we get more when we pay attention to what happens off the scale. A seven pound loss is noticeable. People who haven’t seem me in awhile are noticing and commenting. My waist is 1.75 inches smaller and my clothes are comfortably loose again. You may notice other things like confidence, increased energy, easier workouts, calmer digestion or better sleep. These are all elements of success, so don’t miss them.

3. Don’t be Afraid to Ask for Help
There are many resources and good people to support you through the journey. Don’t go it alone. Get an exercise buddy, find a friend who is also working to shed a few pounds, join a support group or join Weight Watchers. Sometimes we need to ask people in our household to help us stick to our goals too. The truth is – when you ask someone else to help you, you make that person feel respected and powerful. Why not make somebody’s day!

Action Time:
Pick one action to implement this week toward adopting a Waist Management strategy (see past blogs for inspiration!).

Find at least one resource to help you stick to this action. This can be a person or a group.

Journal about your feelings and keep track of how this action is changing your life in good ways – both on and off the scale.

Don’t forget – I’m here to help you too. Soon I will be introducing a self-study program for Waist Management which will give you daily support, EFT treatment sequences, audios and videos to stay on track with good habits before the holidays are upon us. Join my mailing list at www.theindigoconnection.com if you’d like to know when this service becomes available.

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