Archive for August, 2010

Empty Nest – Now What?

Monday, August 23rd, 2010

As the kids head back to school, parents and especially the new empty nesters will experience a variety of changes which can bring with them a variety of emotions. My daughter returned to her second year of college this weekend and I find myself on a bit of an emotional roller coaster as I realize I have the house to myself again. It’s peaceful and it is also lonely. The energy has shifted and I’m getting used to it. There’s nobody to blame now. If I can’t concentrate – it is all my fault! It is a situation asking for some awareness, appreciation and balance.

I’ve been through this before and I know the up-sides. There is this giddiness about having more time to do what I want, to be more self-focussed and less structured. There is also a richer relationship with my husband and a true sense of pride that my kids are equipped to succeed, even without me around.

There are low points too. There is the new financial pressure of college bills, fewer family meal-times, smaller grocery lists and stillness where there was once so much banging and thumping. I seem to be tripping over the dog and cat constantly, as I am the only one they have left to follow around.

I was feeling so peaceful and a little lonely this AM in my empty nest…..till I got in the shower, washed my hair and realized my daughter had removed my favorite hair conditioner. As the anger boiled, I replaced it with gratitude. Things will stay where I put them till Thanksgiving!

Patience and Progress

Monday, August 16th, 2010

Last week’s post was about surrendering and also taking action to get control of my “middle aged middle”. I joined Weight Watchers, began more diligently practicing good habits, upped my exercise, and carefully tracked my daily food intake and points.

During my first week I lost 1.8 pounds and 1/2 inch from my waist, and was quite happy with myself. My biggest realization was that I easily overeat when I don’t keep track, but once I keep track, I’m quite satisfied staying within my healthy eating plan. There’s enough flexibility within Weight Watchers for treats and a few dinners out without breaking with the program.

My second week wasn’t so great. Although I stayed within my point ranges, exercised and behaved myself, on the scale I gained 0.2 pounds and my waistline stayed the same. How could this be? Maybe it’s just a hormone flux or going to weigh in at 5:30 instead of my regular morning time. It could be many things, but it seemed so wrong because I had worked at losing.

There’s a common phrase in coaching that says “There is never failure, only feedback.” It reminds me that this is a journey that will take many weeks and be one where there may be setbacks along the way.

I have eaten a healthier, more balanced diet the past 3 weeks and I feel really well. My workouts have been easier and my knee is handling higher intensity activity well. That is progress that doesn’t show up on the scale or the tape measure, but it is nevertheless very real.

As you work on shaving inches off your middle, remember that the rewards may come in other forms along the way. Pay attention, be patient and track progress in forms other than weight or measurements, so that there’s always the feedback you need to keep moving and progressing toward your goal.

I’ll be witnessed on the scale again in the morning and look forward to sharing progress and feedback!

Taming the Alien

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Has anyone else out there recently looked down and noticed that your tummy is bigger than it used to be? Maybe you’ve had to adjust your belt notches or go up a waist size? Was there a time when you had a nice flat stomach but now find you can’t even hold it in anymore? Are you finding that this belly bump is more resistant than you remember to all the things that used to work to remove it? Me too!

When I was forced to cut down on exercise a few months ago due to a knee injury and subsequent surgery, I wasn’t too surprised that my waist expanded. I told myself that as soon as summer came, I’d be back in shape quickly. And come back, I did. I was lifting weights, running every other morning and attending Jazzercise classes 4+ times a week. To my chagrin, the belly was decidedly not budging. I couldn’t even suck it in when I tried. This belly of mine had a mind of its own. Nothing that used to work in my 51 years of life seemed to make any difference. This was odd.

Before Jazzercise class one day, I confided my frustration to a friend a few years my senior. I mentioned that I might need to see a doctor to rule out a tumor. She burst out laughing, patted her tummy and said “You’ve got THE ALIEN! Look around Betsy…..most women over 50 have THE ALIEN. It’s got the men too. Welcome to the club!”

So that’s what it is! We, the aging adults of the U.S.A. are harboring an army of alien invaders, preparing to emerge on some unforeseen day in the future to take over the world. I’m not buying that one quite yet, but I am more curious than ever about what can be done for this epidemic of bloated bellies.

You see, I have been mildly obsessed about health, beauty and fitness most of my life. Five years ago I developed a special energy coaching class called “Waist Management” that worked quite well for me and my students. Unfortunately, I have not taught that class in over a year. Could that be part of my problem? I have also been a lifetime member of Weight Watchers since 1991, but haven’t attended a meeting in over 7 years. I recognize my less than stellar track record on behavior.

AH HAH! It is time that I refreshed my memory on some of the basics behaviors that fuel a flatter tummy. I need structure and support to do it. As I heighten my own awareness and intentions. I’ve re-enrolled in Weight Watchers, retaken my measurements and begun to scrutinize my habits. So far, there are 5 principles to “Taming the Alien” that I want to pass along so that you too are armed for belly battle.

1. You Must Measure It You cannot document success (or failure) unless you know where things stand. Get out a measuring tape and document both your waist and your hip measurement. As I write this today, my waist is 27.5 inches and my hips are 37.5 inches. That gives me a 0.73 Waist-Hip Ratio. This ratio is important to know. Clinical studies affirm that an expanding waist size brings significant health risks. Women with waist-hip ratio of 0.7 or less have optimal levels of estrogen and are less susceptible to major diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disorders and ovarian cancers. Men with waist hip ratios around 0.9, similarly, have been shown to be more healthy and fertile with less prostate and testicular cancer. Furthermore, the waist hip ratio is a better measure of assessing a person’s risk of heart attack than body mass index.

2. Structure and Accountability There are bulging consequences when portion sizes and food choices go unchecked for long periods of time. My long-term affiliation with Weight Watchers is something I am very grateful for. So many of my excellent habits, including drinking plenty of water, eating breakfast, reading food labels, regular meals, increasing fresh fruits and vegetables and giving up soda pop are due to what I learned and changed while following this program over the years. In spite of that, I have gotten lax in my approach and I know it. Now that I have begun writing down everything I eat and measuring my servings it has been astounding. I was eating way too much, but now I know where I need to be! As a woman over 50, I was also quite bummed to discover that Weight Watchers allows me fewer daily points on the program than when I last attended meetings. Speaking of meetings, the structure of being accountable and witnessed on the scale at Weight Watchers meetings is a big motivator when I am tempted to cheat.

3. Stress and Emotional Eating Stress comes in many forms – work, traffic, relationships, environment and even imaginary things we worry about. Stress makes us fat, particularly in the belly area. This is because stress causes our adrenal glands to pump out excesses of the hormone cortisol, which mobilizes our energy reserves so our body is more efficient at storing fat for basic survival. Even though our stressors are rarely life-threatening, our bodies behave as though death is waiting around the next bend. On top of this, we eat too much when we finally get a break, choose fast and unhealthy foods and often eat just because we are sad, bored or lonely. Sitting in on Weight Watchers meetings has given me a great appreciation for how prevalent stress is among people carrying extra weight. They talk about it openly and are desperately looking for help. My heart goes out to them. Many mention that food is the main source of their relief. I think the WW meetings help, but fall short in providing self-care solutions for stress. Until you get your stress and emotions under control, your are going to be miserable and probably not as successful as you could be at weight loss.

I am so lucky to have found tools like Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and HeartMath to keep my stress in check. Both EFT and HeartMath’s quick coherence technique work quickly and effectively to relieve stress without drugs or side effects. I have used these tools with my clients to release soda pop addictions, boost exercise motivation and to suppress sugar cravings and late night munching. I am compelled to share these self-care tools with more people because they are so natural, practical and sensible.

4. You’ve Got to Move We all know exercise helps keep our belly under control. Crunches and abdominal exercises alone won’t do it. Sporadic fitness won’t do it either. You really do need a regular combination of aerobic, strength and core work to get the system optimized for belly loss. If you used to get away with only 2-3 workouts a week, you may find you need 5-6 a week to maintain your shape as you age. The key is finding something you like, that works with your schedule and which you can follow regularly. Brisk walking is a great way to start if you are a beginning. Jazzercise is an excellent program I’ve enjoyed regularly for over 14 years. Having home fitness equipment is great too. Find a solution that works for you and stick to it.

5. Don’t Go Into Battle Alone It’s interesting to me that when I mentioned my Waist Management course at a business networking event last week, I was met with an outpouring of interest. Yes, I have support from Weight Watchers meetings, yet I also I realized that when I teach and mentor, I have even more company as I embrace and fully follow the program. There’s something about knowing that you are not alone that really is motivating and supportive. Friends lift you up on the hard days and also help celebrate your success when those inches come off. That is a huge part of the fun. Looking around, I see lots of people of my generation in need of a little belt-tightening and willing to embark on changing their waist measurement. I know I can help them. Maybe you can too, just by inviting them to join you in this journey toward better health. Waist Management is making a comeback – although I may change the class name to “Taming the Alien”.

I will keep you posted on my discoveries and progress over the coming weeks. Let me know how you are doing too. I am happy to accept new friends on Facebook or LinkedIn. I may offer a tele-class version of the Waist Management course using weekly calls, audios and video. You are invited to join my mailing list at www.theindigoconnection.com so you’ll know when the next class begins.