Archive for December, 2009

Setting Goals and Resolutions Success in the New Year

Monday, December 28th, 2009

We gathered for a year-end coaching call on December 28 to discuss the process of balanced goal setting. You’ll also see how much I emphasize the importance of FUN in goal setting. The call includes:

1. A fun party game you can use to loosen up stuffy adults
2. The value of a year-end wrap-up before moving into your new year.
3. Three things you must incorporate to assure more success with your goals
4. A heart massage exercise to help you feel more focussed about moving into 2010.

Here’s the audio if you missed the call:

The “Why” Within the Plan

Monday, December 28th, 2009

The approach of January 1 coaxes us to think about new beginnings, resolutions, promises and goals. As I prepare to lead a discussion about resolutions and goals tonight, I am reminded that my best efforts toward my own changes have come when I am clear about THE REASON change really matters. It is the WHY within the plan that reflects what I love and what I value deep inside. It is the WHY that will bring me closer to the successful change I dream of.

Allow me to share some recent examples from my own life. Each quarter, I set 2 dozen life and business goals as part of my commitment to life balance and integrity in my work as a coach. Some are easier than others, but each and every one has a WHY attached to it.

Goal Example #1:
Maintain a waist measurement of less than or equal to 27 inches

Why: a measure of fitness, health and stress management that helps me look good and fit comfortably into my clothes.

Status: Today’s measurement was 27.5 inches. I am resuming my exercise and dietary routines today in hope that the excess holiday pudge will be gone by Friday! The temptation of holiday goodies are always going to be a challenge, but the why is really more important to me. Wondering if I should go for <=26 inches in the new year? Will need to consider the why attached to that inch of difference.

Goal Example #2:
Use my intuitive kinesthetic energy awareness to help others find their truth. Be bolder about it, without apology.

Why:
This is honoring and being who I am, owning my talents and rising above my fears.

Status: A work in progress. I am using and trusting my perceptions more often in private client work and documenting events in my journal. I could do more in group & public work. There is still fear of judgement and being labeled as a “woo woo” that’s holding me back. The why reminds me to be true to myself.

Goal Example #3
Blog or publish an article weekly

Why:
Written expression helps the rest of the world understand where I am coming from and the value I offer. Regularly publishing something develops my capabilities and outreach as an expert and professional writer.

Status: Regular writing has occured as planned. I have an agent interested in one of my book proposals and others may still emerge. I have committed to blogging/writing regularly and enjoy the process. The feedback from readers has been gratifying.

Hopefully these examples give you a sense for how you can enhance your goal-setting by going deeper into your WHY. If you would like a copy of my balanced goal-setting form to help you get your 2010 off to a great start, send an email to betsy@theindigoconnection.com and I will add you to my list for distribution.

I wish you a wonderful year filled with clarity, value and purpose. It’s all about the WHY!

Why Not Create a Better Holiday?

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

What are you going through right now that is either building or destroying your energy? One thing you can count on during this holiday time is a change of routine. Change in and of itself can be uncomfortable even if the change is good. Here are some of the most common changes I hear about from clients and friends that happen during the holidays. How many are you dealing with?

1. Visitors in your home & extra guests for meals
2. Regular exercise routines interrupted
3. Travel
4. Sleeping in an unfamiliar bed
5. Losing control over food choices
6. Sleep cycles and schedules changing for parties, socializing and general holiday celebrations. Winter solstice and lengthy darkness can add to the drain.
7. More alcohol and calories than usual
8. Meeting family expectations and demands
9. Extra financial pressures with gift giving, travel, entertaining and recreation.
10. Filling the “free time” and vacation with something meaningful

Has your awareness of a potential snag jumped at you yet? What will you do about it?

I have often said that sometimes we are just one resource away from a better experience. I remind myself and my clients that you really do control the way you prepare for trouble and how you respond to events beyond your control.

Preparation:
We all know that holiday change is coming. We can respond to changes and stresses better if we are prepared for them and have a plan. A few obvious suggestions may include getting extra sleep whenever possible, maintaining regular exercise such as walking, adhering to a budget, eating a healthy diet, drinking plenty of water, breathing deeply, including something you love in each day (i.e. – reading a chapter of a great book or sniffing your favorite fragrance) and talking to someone you love even if they aren’t with you.

Response and Choice
For those of us headed into hostile teritory where we may be giving up lots of choice and personal control for the common good – some additional tools may be helpful.

1. Before it even begins, set an intention of how you want to feel, be, act and be remembered. Honor yourself by envisioning a successful experience.

2. Remind yourself that the situation you are going into is temporary and will be over soon.

3. Set some boundaries. Financial budgets are boundaries too. Determine your “absolute NO list” and prepare to defend it. You are responsible for letting others know how to treat you and what you need. Defend yourself calmly and with compassion.

4. Observe the needs and the pain of others, and seek to give them what is needed to alleviate their suffering. The complainer is just wanting to be heard. The person who dominates a conversation needs validation and control. The depressed person is searching for compassion and hope. Can you help?

5. Take a time-out if you become overwhelmed. Remove yourself from the room or location briefly. Walk, practice EFT tapping, breathe, nap, pray, write or call someone for support.

6. Ask for divine intervention. Seriously, by simply asking it often arrives. Never doubt the possibility of a miracle. Remember to ask!

7. Remain open, creative and curious. Refrain from judgment and enjoy the process of observation. Listeners are respected. Be attentive to the situation. You need not agree with bigots and tormentors, but by keeping your cool, you keep from adding to the drama.

8. Notice and be grateful when things go better than you expected. This will immediately lift your spirit. Feel free to share your observations generously with others because it will lift them too. You have the opportunity to spread contageous optimism!

Action Time:
What will you do to be more resillient and prepared this holiday season? What might get in the way or drain your energy? Which of the tips above seem to offer the best solution for your situation. Choose at least 2 and give it a shot. I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Perhaps you’ll share your experience with me on the live coaching call coming up on Dec. 28 at 8 PM EST.

Have yourself a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and blessed holiday in whatever tradition fits your beliefs.

Making the Holidays More Sacred

Friday, December 11th, 2009

I have spent the last two weeks traveling extensively for business. While my travels were quite productive, I return to find that I am quite behind in my holiday spirit. Christmas is a beautiful time of year, not because of gifts and shopping, but because we gather to celebrate a holy birth and our love for each other.

As I was catching up with my email today, I was grateful to my friend Mary Jo for sending me an inspiring list written by Lama Surya Das, who has been called “The Western Lama” by the Dali Lama. These are especially meaningful to me because I met Lama Surya Das this year and enjoyed his very joyful spirit. If you go to my page on Facebook, you will find a picture of us taken together. I’ll be happy to add you as a friend if you want to take a look, go to www.facebook.com/betsymuller

LAMA SURYA DAS’

7 TIPS FOR MAKING HOLIDAYS MORE SACRED

1. Generosity–Gift-giving, Volunteering, Reaching out (calling, writing, acknowledging), Cheerfulness, smiling

2. Share a prayer, share a poem, share a kindness, share a favor

3. Give yourself a gift, material or just of time and space

4. Inspirational reading

5. Pay attention, make the strong intention to be extra-present and to try and plumb the meaning of the particular holiday and season (and your locale as well)

6. Connect with someone you have difficulty relating to– for example, finding some common ground to talk about or something to like about a family member you usually have difficulty with, judge or disagree with at holiday gatherings

7. Serve at a shelter, provide food for those in need, make hospital visits or visit the elderly or shut-ins; connect with a child and give them a boost in some way

Action Steps: What will you do to make these next weeks sacred? Do any of these ideas resonate with you more than others? If you feel resistance, seek to understand what lies beneath it. Make a commitment to yourself to do several things on this list – including the one that seems hardest, because that may just be where your joy is hiding!