How do you handle the roadblocks and perils life throws at you? One thing we can all be certain of is that we ALL will encounter some rough spots during our lives, no matter how well we balance and manage things. Perhaps this is why we are here – to learn from the bumps in the road and to grow more resilient with each peril we conquer.
Just about all of us have muttered “Why Me?” at some time in our lives. We think we know what we are doing and what we’re getting into, then suddenly get blindsided by a major set-back or nasty event. The real problem is that the “why me?” state of consciousness is a position of weakness. It comes from a victim perspective and suggests that there is no ownership nor possible control of the situation. Often that is far from the reality, but we are blind to it nonetheless.
A more “consciously aware” way to get traction on the bumpy road is to instead ask “What’s still in my way?” The answer is invited as we surrender to what is, and desire to know more.
If there is one thing I have learned as a coach, mother, wife, minister and human being is that often we need to move outside of ourselves to find the answers we need to navigate life. We all have blind spots, and I am no exception. Our egos get us all tangled up in our own pain.
While it can be embarrassing and humbling to ask someone else, or even pay someone, for perspective, counseling or advice, it is exactly what is needed to bring light to the situation. We don’t have all of the answers. Often we are just one resource short of a brilliant enlightenment!
So, here are a few questions for you to ponder and consider as they may apply to navigating the bumpy roads ahead:
1. Has there ever been a time when you were “blind-sided” or totally “clueless” to the reality of a situation to the point that it shut you down or held back your effectiveness? Describe the situation in a journal or in discussion with a close confidant. Why was it that this event caught you so off-guard? Were there any warning signs you missed? How might you avoid this situation in the future?
2. Are there any particular areas of your life where you seem to have blind spots or inability to see clearly into truth? What are they? How do you know they exist?Note: These are real clues to your life purpose. Take this very seriously because your response to this question can lead you to great happiness.
3. When you sabotage yourself, how are you most likely to do it? What snaps you out of it? Sabotage behaviors can include denial, overeating, clutter, substance abuse, overspending/debt, backing out of commitments and procrastination. Which one is your personal favorite? What benefits do you gain through self-sabotage?
4. How have external resources like teachers, coaches, mentors, friends, books, articles and family helped you better understand what holds you back? Do you prefer to explore your blocks alone or with other people? Consider what types of resources and people could assist you at gaining a better understanding of your self-sabotage behaviors or a challenge you are currently facing. Reach out and connect with some new perspectives with an open mind and see what you can learn.
5. What have you learned from the obstacles in your path? How might you keep that path clear going forward? You too can be a teacher and someone who can bring perspective to another colleague strugging with a similar problem. As you overcome your own troubles, put your learning into service for yourself and especially as a way to help others.
Know that there is always another perspective you can use to view your situation. Be brave enough to take a look at it, ask for help and release your fear about knowing the truth. As you do so, you’ll make great strides in your life, personal comfort and in serving the world.