Archive for September, 2009

Lessons from the Closet: When Releasing Brings MORE

Monday, September 28th, 2009

I was given a very vivid lesson on the topic of releasing last week that I feel compelled to share today. This lesson began when I hired Dawn Waldrop www.best-impressions.com, a professional image consultant to come to my home and evaluate the contents of my clothes closet. This process promised to eventually result in a specific plan for shopping to improve and update my professional speaking attire.

Before the visit I was apprehensive about letting another person peer into the dark recesses of my closet. I realized that my closet would be subjected to judgment and that many items would probably be rejected and released. Was I ready to let go of stuff she said must go? If I hadn’t been able to do it myself, could a professional really help release my grip on stuff that didn’t flatter me? Could I trust this woman to guide me?

As promised, the process in the closet took about 2 hours. In that short time, over half of the contents were removed, taken off hangers and placed in a pile for charity donation. At first the sheer quantity of this pile was quite painful. What if I need that some day? Does that really make me look frumpy? Dawn confirmed what my daughter had been telling me for years – many of my outfits looked “boxy” and I could use some more fitted styles to flatter my figure.

Yet somehow along the way I also began to see the beauty of what I was choosing to keep. The clothes that remained were the ones I loved, in my favorite colors and fabrics, and which make me look my very best. What took me so long to see this?

The process of purging with a professional resulted in release of 25 belts, 4 pairs of shoes, 10 dresses, 10 formal/bridesmaids dresses (why was I keeping these?), 10 skirts, 26 sweaters, 14 suits, 4 jackets and 15 blouses. Some of these items dated back to when I was in school. How could I have ignorantly let them take up all this space and energy in my closet? Just because I had room for them didn’t make it right.

The image consultant left me with a shopping list and a closet full of empty hangers – which was the best part. Now that I had made room in my closet, it was time to fill the gaps with the perfect new items. I was delighted to find some gorgeous bargains this weekend in rich fabrics and colors that fit me perfectly. I am enjoying the luxury of knowing less is really more as I deliberately choose my new wardrobe.

The metaphors of closet cleaning apply well to life changes too. Here are a few lessons I learned in the closet that may help you too.

Deep inside, you know the truth, but sometimes you have to pay somebody else to help you act on the truth.

When you let go of something that doesn’t work, you truly open the door to attracting something much better.

Bargains that don’t fit are not bargains

It is easier to find important things when the clutter has been removed

An open space has more room for the light

Donating to charity feels good

Old bridesmaid dresses will never come back in style

And to quote the words of Joan Crawford “NO WIRE HANGERS!”

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Creativity and The Italy Room

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

Today I am moved to share a personal story about how I was inspired to create something in my life, that opened so many doors to my healing and the healing of other people too. It is the story of my “Italy Room”.

When I traveled with my family to southern Italy in 2004, I found myself mesmerized by the warmth of the sun, the blue of the sky and water, the colorful pottery and the beauty of the fresh produce. I thought to myself, “How could this feeling be part of my life back in Cleveland in the middle of a frozen January?” I thought long and hard about this while in Italy, and upon returning home decided to create a transformation back at home.

My vision was to create the “Italy Room” in my sunroom off the kitchen. Fortunately my husband was supportive of my idea because I needed a little help. Thank goodness he loved my idea. We sponge-painted the vaulted ceiling a bright yellow and painted the walls a glorious sky-blue that reminded me of Positano. We furnished the room with framed photos from our travels, sunflowers, live plants, a fountain, two comfortable recliners, a café table for two, and some lovely Italian pottery pieces. I did it all on a tiny budget which was part of the thrill. The room soon became a spectacular haven for us in winter for reading and intimate dinners for two. Our project created so much joy and perpetuated the good feelings from our travel discovery. Our vision to bring the Italian summer to a cold January day was accomplished!

I often retreated to this room when I needed a quiet place to journal and make important decisions. It was in this room that I composed my first business plan for The Indigo Connection. It was here that I wrote my morning pages during my first independent study of The Artist’s Way. The Italy Room became my meditation place, where I practiced my speaking and still serves as my creative studio in every sense of the word.

Today I also offer my Italy Room for live coaching and healing sessions with clients, although the space was created long before I began the notion of having my own practice. My love for this space, the peace it creates, and how it facilitates the energetic connection that heals was a deliberate creative process that continues to serve me well.

How can you open yourselves up to more creativity?
My simple answer to this is to start paying greater attention to what you love and value. This would include things that make you feel great, items you have in your surroundings now that you love, memories of very happy moments, natural beauty, animals, colors, textures and scents. Take time to grasp what you enjoy and challenge yourself to look more closely at it. Is there a way to bring more of this into your life today to amplify the good feelings?

My challenge to you
How could you enhance your office, home, or other place you spend time in, so that it resonates with you and the images, colors, feelings or memories you love?

This need not be a radical adjustment, but simply an addition of a deliberately selected focal point or enhancement. Even subtle shifts can make a big difference. Also consider what you might choose to discard or give away so that you can make room for something new that brings greater happiness to you.

Make sure to set a healing intention
Ask yourself how you would like to feel, be, and function when in this space. Write an affirmation statement that communicates this creative desire in present-tense language.

“I have successfully created the experience of light, warmth and uplifted heart that feels just like summer in Italy. This energy restores the soul no matter what is going on outside. It is available to me and everyone who enters this space.”

Over the years I have had the chance to notice that when clients truly open up to creativity, they connect to their own power, and healing soon follows. The healing I speak of can take many forms including reduction of symptoms, better relationships, more confidence and greater joy in daily life. Creativity allows us to spread our wings and do new things. It allows us to stop trying to control the world and instead gain a sense of safety as we nurture ourselves in the moment and space we’re in.

Use your creative power to transform your life in ways that reflect what you value and what makes you happy. Know you deserve it and that it is possible. Enjoy knowing that as you create happiness for yourself, you may just find yourself changing the world around you. I never suspected by own self-serving creation of the “Italy Room” would someday become a healing space for other people, yet it happened anyway. You can do it too!

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Goals for Deliberate Balance

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

“Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.”
-Erich Fromm

There’s something scary about setting goals. They represent exciting possibilities, but also represent an opportunity for failure if our goals go unmet. Often there may also a part of us that is afraid we will succeed. It’s easy to get comfortable with our present situation, even if it is unpleasant when the other side is “unknown”.

There are ways to stack the deck toward less fear and greater accomplishment when setting goals. Here’s the process I am using today as I generate my own goals for the next planning period:

1. Know what you want. Be specific, practical and time –oriented Spend some time examining your values. What do you want to be, own, do, feel, learn and earn? Who do you want to spend time with and where would you like to go? What are goals that you accomplish regularly and want to keep as part of your ongoing plan? I like a 90 day planning cycle because that is also a business quarter and easy to track. You may prefer 30 or 60 days and that’s fine too. Before deciding your goals, take a look at what is already on the calendar and the commitments you already have in the coming weeks. What goals make sense for you to set for yourself? What resources will you need? Identify any time-planning roadblocks that may thwart your success too. Better to be prepared than blindsided so you can plan around the bumps.

2. Schedule your deadlines for balance and so they don’t all hit at once. Realize that some goals will be easily accomplished and some will be ongoing. Set each completion date deliberately in a way that facilitates success and helps you balance the other things going on in your life. For example, you may have a huge project due the last week of the month. To maintain your strength during this stressful time, you might also set a goal of attending a yoga class, or getting to the gym that same week.

3. Set plenty of goals for more opportunities to win My planning process sets 3 goals in each of 8 key areas 1. Business/Career 2. Relationships 3. Financial/Money 4. Fun 5. Personal 6. Health & Fitness 7. Contribution and 8. Spirituality. By addressing the totality of your life, odds are you’ll succeed even if some goals are not accomplished. You’ll also find your life will be in better balance overall. It’s a numbers game, so set plenty of goals knowing you are a winner even if you don’t hit 100%.

4. Know the “why” behind your goals and share your excitement Don’t just write down your goals, also write down the reason they are there so you can truly feel the positive emotions around them. Get excited about your goals, then find a positive person (or a group) who believes in you and who would also like some support for their own goals. Spend some time sharing your goals, set up calls or meetings to touch base at regular intervals and offer encouragement. Allow this safe support system to help you celebrate your success and move you further toward your dreams.

5. Allow room for new goals as life shifts Sometimes there is a bigger plan at work for us, and we may not anticipate all that can and will happen in our planning period. Maintain a flexible attitude. A crisis or emergency may arise. For example, someone in your family might get sick and need you to care for them. Rather than throwing out all the goals, adjust your plan to accommodate the situation and to also ensure that your life stays in balance. You’ve heard “life happens” – so forgive yourself before it happens and know you have the freedom to change course.

6. Post Your Goals as a Visual Reminder Display your goals where you can see them – ideally in your regular workspace. If you share a space or don’t feel supported by others who may see them, then tuck them away where you have easy regular access. Take time to look at them daily. As you complete goals, use a colored highlighter to cross off your accomplishments so you have a visual reminder of your success. Save your goal sheets so that you can fully appreciate all that you have accomplished at year end.

7. Enjoy the Reward of Celebration! You’ve worked hard. Make sure you have built in a little time to celebrate your accomplishments. In case you didn’t notice, that’s what the FUN category is all about. Choose healthy and meaningful ways to acknowledge your growth. Celebrate with people who care about you and have helped you reach your goals. Take a little time to recharge and reflect too. What have you learned? How have you grown? What would you do differently? Take note and share your wisdom to help others.

I wish you success in your planning process. I hope you find joy in the process too. If anyone needs support setting goals and finding clarity, feel free to contact me. I enjoy helping others see the value they bring to the world and the possibilities the future holds for them. You’ll be celebrating before you know it.

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