Archive for March, 2009

Moving On…. Instead of Shutting Down

Sunday, March 29th, 2009

I am always astounded by the things that start happening in my life when I teach The Artists Way Book Study Groups how to integrate EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) into their creative process. The Artists Way, by Julia Cameron is a classic book for anyone who wants to open themself up to prosperity, deliberate living and a loving relationship with themselves.  If I had unlimited funds I would place this book in the hands of every 12 year old on the planet as part of their journey to adult life.  It’s not about art – but rather the art of living and creating a life you love.

I have been running into many professionals  in transition lately.  People who have recently lost jobs due to layoff, downsizing or economic decline.  These people come from fields as diverse as IT, manufacturing, HR  and retail. One phrase that keeps coming up in these conversations is “I need to reinvent myself for this new economy, but I don’t know where to turn.”   I would love to just blurt out, “Read The Artist’ Way!”, but somehow I don’t think most of them are ready yet.  They are shut down and need some tender loving care to feel safe enough to explore the positive possibilities.  There are lots of employed people who are scared and shutting down too.  You can help them.

How do we encourage and assist people who are shutting down?  Perhaps you are the one shutting down?  Each of the points below can be offered as self-care OR as a formula for assisting others in your life who need help moving on.

1.  Accept them for where they are.  See them as significant and worthy of attention.

2.  Listen to them without judgment.  Let them share their story.  Ask questions to bring them out.

3.  Ask about what they love.   This will open up even the quietest ones.

4.Urge them to use this transition time to do things that make them feel great  like hobbies, art, reading, physical fitness or outdoor activities.  Give them recognition for the healthy support systems and activities they may already may have in place.

5.  Introduce them to your networks.  Invite them to attend networking or social events you are already involved in.  Keep them in circulation.  You can also invite them to join you for online networks like Facebook and Linkedin.  Every connection offers potential.

6. Offer them discounts, extras or sliding scale rates on your services.  If there was ever somebody needing a break, it is someone between jobs.

7.  Encourage them to ask for discounts with other vendors too.  Sometimes all it takes is to ask.

8.  Help them see what’s going well in their lives beyond unemployment (or fear)  and remind  them to experience true gratitude.

9.  Provide resources and recommend good books.   Links to inspirational stuff like this video by Ken Robinson on TedTalks are excellent.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

10.  Repeat from the list above as needed.  That’s what compassionate people do.

Feel free to share The Artists Way too and invite them to read and discuss the book with you.

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Mirror Work (new EFT Video)

Tuesday, March 24th, 2009

Long ago a wise teacher recommended that it can be very healing to say “I love you” as you look in the mirror each morning.   Maybe you’ve heard that too.  Have you tried it?

If you have, you know that it can often trigger an uncomfortable feeling or emotion.  Instead of loving yourself, do you notice a new wrinkle, a zit or a feature on your face that you never liked?  Do you feel ugly instead of lovable?  If you haven’t tried it, what do you feel when you consider the possibility?  Are you up to the challenge?

Today’s very short video today is an important reminder that you are more than that person in the mirror.  Your relationship with yourself is the most important thing you bring to the world and is the basis for experiencing love in all forms throughout your life.

Show up to the mirror with a clear sense of love for yourself and you may just find the world more friendly, peaceful and beautiful.

I challenge you to try this for 21 days (yes, that might just make it a habit too), then let me know if anything has shifted.  A more pleasant experience with your mirror awaits.

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EFT Certified!

Friday, March 20th, 2009

Today I completed and passed the EFT Certification exam,  something I have been wanting and also putting off since last summer.  I will also admit publically that I never took the time to write this down as a goal.  I failed to follow the advice that I give out liberally.  What kind of a coach would do that?  A human one, of course.

I have been practicing EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques www.emofree.com) since I first learned about it in 2001.  I’ve probably treated myself with it thousands of times.  When you add all the client sessions and the trainings I’ve attended, it comes to possibly several thousand hours accumulated experience as an EFT expert.  I had completed ACEP certification as an Energy Health Practitioner in 2007.   There didn’t used to be a certification for EFT until this new certification was announced in mid 2008.   I immediately ordered all the study materials, then let it sit for months.  I was not motivated and suppose I felt it would still be there for later.

When I created my goals in January for my first 90 days of 2009, EFT Certification didn’t make the list either.    I did however  start studying the videos on a regular basis as winter cancellations and being stuck indoors gave me the extra time.  As I watched hours of video – stuff I thought I knew so well, I realized that I was learning good things that would strengthen me as a practitioner and a person.  The volume of videos was still daunting.  How could I fit this in and even get a clue as to when I might finish?

Yesterday I reached a moment of astonishment – I realized I was just 3 hours away from completing the videos!  While it wasn’t even on my list, I was rounding the bend.  During a call scheduled with my accountability buddy, Carmel yesterday I made the commitment that I would complete that exam by March 30 and I meant it.

What happened next is really cool – I felt the excitement.  I wanted this.  I could see my name with the certification initials.  I felt I had already earned it, but I was ready to prove it.  I enrolled for the exam and paid the fee.  Miraculously I had a very open schedule today (Friday) which I figured I would use to study all of my notes.  At noon I made the decision that I was as ready as I would ever be and that I would try the exam today.

It is a timed exam and you get just two chances to pass.  As I sat down at the PC to log in, I felt my heart start to pound.  Now what?  Right then, I tapped on the “heart feeling”.  I tapped on the nervousness and on how much I deserved to be certified.  I tapped on being comfortable as a certified healer.   

The discomfort evaporated and I logged in.  Two hours later I passed on my very first try.  Hurray for me!

What have I learned?  

1.  Getting on board with a goal is more than just saying it or writing it down, it comes from embracing it fully.  My resistance mostly had to do with the time it would take.  As I made time and got engaged in the process, that resistance fell away, even before I fully committed. 

2.  Bringing in a witness or accountability buddy is wise.   Once  I brought my witness, Carmel,  into my process there was no stopping me. 

3. Imagination Motivates   Allowing myself to feel the success before it arrived was a very pleasant form of encouragement.  I always say “Miracles are out there just waiting for a place of expression!”  I do believe we create our realty.

4.  Love Makes it Simple  I love EFT and I know it well.  It was fun going deeper and challenging myself to memorize lots of fine details.  So many of the points not on that test will help me.  I am grateful.  All of this will allow me to be a better teacher and healer, doing work I love.

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Finding Direction in a Complicated World

Tuesday, March 10th, 2009

Have you been doing more soul-searching than usual lately as you ponder how you’ll respond to current business and economic climate. Whether you are employed or have your own business, there is a sense that the old rules are changing and that the new plans are yet unavailable. How do you operate in a climate of uncertainty and retain your inner stability and sanity? The answer is there, but we need to quiet ourselves to receive the message.

I am often amazed at the number of people who come to me seeking answers. They will pay hundreds of dollars for “intuitive readings” and insights. They come into a coaching relationship seemingly wanting to establish a dependent relationship with me – asking me to connect them with answers.

My clients are often surprised when I share with them that my way of coaching is to teach them how to trust their own “wiser self” or “inner compass”. That the answer is always there. One of my favorite quotes can be found beneath my business e-mail signature and it says it all:

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.”

- Lao Tzu

Believe me, I too struggle at times to find my guidance. There are days when it escapes me and I get frustrated, impatient and angry. That’s when I’ve got to do exactly what I recommend to my clients. Here are the steps I follow:

1. Check in with your body and honor what it needs. Make sure to drink a glass or two of water. If you notice pain, discomfort or tension, take just a moment to really feel it and honor that you are in touch with your physical self. Accept your body for what it is right now.

2. Get grounded. Place the soles of your feet flat on the ground. Barefoot is best, but shoes are fine (especially when you are at work!). Feel the ground beneath you and connect to the present moment and your place as part of earth NOW.

3. Breathe Become aware of your breath and take full, easy breaths filling your lungs comfortably. I enjoy the 4-fold breath which I envision as a box – Inhale fully 4 counts, pause 4 counts, exhale 4 counts and pause 4 counts, then repeat. Breathing will help your energy begin to flow in a more healthy way. It also brings healing oxygen to your cells and enlivens your brain. So easy and socially appropriate, yet we regularly forget to breathe in a fully healthy way.

4. Lower the Gaze or Close the Eyes To quite the mind, it is extremely helpful to give the eyes a break. Placing a palm across the forehead as you close the eyes will also help shut off the mind chatter. Experiment to discover which way works best for you.

5. Get Centered Direct your attention to your heart as you continue breathing. Place your right hand on your heart, then put your left hand on top of your right. Set the intention that your energies are balanced, left and right; forward and back; above and below; inside and outside. Center your energy at your heart. Reverse hand placement so that left hand in on heart, right on top of left hand. Feel your heart beating.

6. Ask for the Answer This may sound really simple, but asking for help engages something big. If you feel blocked about this, add EFT tapping to the process at this step. Clear reversals by rubbing the sore spot and saying something like, “Even though I am blocked from the answer, I deeply and completely love and accept myself now, exactly as I am.” You can repeat this statement (or a shorter version of it) while tapping the EFT treatment points too. Notice what happens. Are you feeling different? Are you aware of a new thought, idea or solution? Take a moment to jot things down so these insights are not lost.

7. Receive and Act Notice what happens as you get in touch with your center and allow your energy to move. Are you feeling different? Are you aware of a new thought, idea or solution? Take a moment to jot things down so these insights are not lost. Can you do something with the information now? Does this bring up more questions? Ask yourself “What might I do to act upon this insight RIGHT NOW?” Your actions based on insights are where you will see the beauty of the process. If there is fear involved with the action, go back to an EFT tapping sequence to address the fear you have. Admit it, accept it and treat it.

The steps above seem long, but once in practice can be accomplished in just 2-3 minutes. You could consider adding these steps to bathroom breaks as a way to build more inner wisdom each day. This won’t slow you down or interfere with your work. In fact, it is likely to boost your productivity.

I realize that as a practitioner, I am blessed with lots of resources to help other people. It is especially rewarding to take clients through this process of trusting themselves and getting the energy to flow in a positive way. Sharing my strong energy as a jump-start for others is a joy. In doing so, there is not a dependent relationship, but an empowered one.

Try these steps on your own. I’m here to help if you need the jumper cables!

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