The Indigo Connection

Its easy to get discouraged when you make a list of goals and deliberate changes you desire in your life — only to be faced with the same old results.   I often remind my clients that waiting is part of the process, including holding on to faith and hope.

The truth is, nothing really changes until we change.   Radical change is hard.  As much as we say we want it, change is unknown and scary.  You know what it is like to live with your current pain or conflicts, but living without them opens up a whole new world.

I don’t think positive change needs to be radical or scary.  What it does require is being open to consistent baby steps in the same direction.  That means doing a small new thing each day.  It certainly means using an amazing tool like EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) on a consistent basis to chip away at your blocks and limiting beliefs.  It’s this consistency that makes the difference.  The journey begins with a single tiny step.

Here’s are a few suggested baby steps you might consider for easing into change for the long haul:

1. Take a deep breath before speaking – whenever

2. Tap away a craving or unhealthy desire at least one time each day (if needed)

3. List your top 10 positive words and use them in your vocabulary now

4.  List 30 easy things you could do to show love for yourself – then do one of them each day for a month.

5.  Take action to improve or heal a relationship – apologize, visit, offer forgiveness, call, write or just show someone you care

6.  Honor someone unexpectedly

7. Do an anonomous good deed

8.  Speak only positive words for a whole hour

9. Let go of something on your to do list – give it to a higher power.

10. Honor a promise

Become someone you can admire and someone who follows through.  Consistent baby steps are the key to success and possible for EVERYONE. 

I had this crazy dream last night where I was back in high school, feeling those old uncomfortable feelings about not being popular enough or attractive enough to a certain young man I dated on and off throughout those years.  The particular guy in the dream was very handsome and smart, yet very detached and not trustworthy.  In hindsite there really was no real relationship, but still there was this powerful pull on my heart.  It was very odd to have a dream like that at a time when I feel so loved and settled in my life, marriage and work – yet there it was.  I wondered, what is this dream trying to teach me? 

I know many people reading this are fascinated by the movie The Secret and the notion that we create our own reality through our thoughts, actions and emotions.  We probably create in our dream state too.  Like many of my baby boomer clients, I grew up in a time when Walt Disney movies like Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and the like presented us with the role model of a lovely woman who waits for that perfect prince to come along and sweep her off her feet.  I will admit, Prince Charming was my little fantasy too until I started falling for those guys who found many ways to disappoint me.  I guess I kissed a few toads even if they were pretty cute to look at!  The beauty of those early experiences were that they taught me about how to create the kind of relationship that mattered – one where I could love, respect and trust the right person.   As a result of this consciousness, I truly believe I was able to attract the perfect man, my husband of 23 years, George. 

I am concluding that the message of the my dream is the full realization of how truly grateful I am for George and my marriage.  And that gratitude helps me attract more goodness and love into my life.  I’m not leaking precious energy with relationship worries.  I can relax and be myself knowing that my access to love is so solid.  

But what if you aren’t in a solid loving relationship, or are still leaking energy from the disrespectful and damaging events of a past relationship?  How can you let go and attract  the real Prince Charming?  Here are a few suggestions:

1. Stop focussing on what isn’t working.  Instead make a list of the qualities you WANT and NEED in a relationship.  Be specific and also note WHY those qualities matter to you.

2.  Communicate your needs – especially if you are in a relationship that has the potential to be saved.  You can’t communicate until you know what you really want. 

3.  Remember that relationships are a 2 way street.  Keep your heart open to hearing what your partner needs too.  Talk things over.  Make time to be together so you can meet without distractions

4.  Love yourself.  Use EFT or another self-care technique to admit the parts that are hard to love and accept them anyway.  Ask forgiveness and offer it liberally too.

5.  Keep track of your dreams in a journal.  Pay attention to the characters, the messages and the location/setting of your dreams.  Ask yourself what you are learning from the dream messages.

6.  Be patient.  Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Cinderalla waited quite awhile until the Prince finally found them. 

 So much for the fantasy!    I wish you clarity as you attract and enjoy love.

Being grateful is perhaps one of the most essential elements for sustaining vibrant life, closely following the basics of food, water and sleep.   Why is it that we tend to obsess about what isn’t perfect in life rather than noticing the things that are going well?  We actually have lots to be grateful for, and when we plug into it, we generate uplifting neurotransmitters in our brain, our blood pressure stays healthy, our mood elevates, we smile and we are able to attract more good things into our experience.

For some people, I know the process can feel like starting a cold car on an icy morning.   Here’s my top 10 list for effortless access to gratitude:

1.  Think about or write down at least 3 things that went right this morning (like the shower was warm, I had food, the car started, clean clothing was available, my dog was happy to see me, I have a job to go to…….).

2.  Think of your favorite color – and take 1 minute to notice where that color shows up around you.  Enjoy the time noticing what you ordinarily would take for granted.

3.  Hum, sing or just think about your favorite song.  What emotions does this song bring to you?  What memories or time period does the song bring to mind?  Is it the music, the words or both that are so enjoyable.  Find ways to bring this song into your life more often.

4.  Make a list of your top ten life memories – your personal “best moments”.  Make a point to revisit these memories in your mind on a regular basis.

5.  Make a point to say thank you today for the small things – the service you receive, a kind gesture from a stranger, or someone who does business with you.  Be sincere and look them in the eye with a smile.  How does it feel?

6.  Speak about good things with others.  Talk about what you appreciate.  Help others become aware of the power of gratitude.  Find ways to build their emotions through gratitude fun.  Ask somebody else about their favorite song or favorite memory.

7.  Think about your favorite place in the whole world.  Go there in your mind and experience the beauty once again.  If it’s hard to pick one place, bask in gratitude knowing that you are very lucky to have access to such wonderful material!

8. At the end of the day, write down at least one thing from the day that you are truly thankful for in a gratitude journal. 

9.  Review your gratitude journal on a regular basis.  Enjoy the memories.

10.  Do the Gratitude Dance.  Not sure what it is?  Check out this wonderful little video for an uplifting experience at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NeMC1Fl3J0

What I do know to be solidly true is that we are created to enjoy life.  Being joyful allows us to attract more good experiences and to be of greatest service to each other.  Go out and spend the day seeing the beauty that surrounds you.  When you do this, being grateful comes effortlessly.